More times than I’d like to admit, I find myself watching an episode of Dora the Explorer after my son has left the room. My husband has validated my secret interest in children’s cartoons, revealing that while flipping channels on the treadmill at the gym, he sometimes stops at the sight of Diego or The Backyardigans. Once he remembers he’s not in preschool, he changes the channel quickly and hopes the runner next to him didn’t notice.

But sometimes, I have no choice but to stay and watch. I’m alone in the den trying to solve Blue’s Clues, stuck on the couch breastfeeding the baby and the remote is 10 feet away. This was the case one afternoon, when I became engrossed in an episode of Olivia, the sassy 6-year-old pig.

Olivia’s brother, Ian, kept getting in her business. She worked on a puzzle and Ian wanted to help. Olivia colored a picture and he wanted the crayons. Olivia told Ian to back off, and Ian yelled for Mom.

“Olivia, you need to share,” their mother called from the kitchen. Instead, Olivia gave up her current project and moved on to something else. Ian followed her and tattled, “Mom, Olivia’s not sharing!” Finally, Olivia was sent to her bedroom to think about what she had done.

As Olivia sulked in time-out, she imagined a scene where her mom walks outside to the car. An elderly neighbor lady shouts, “Hey! I need to share your car.”

Olivia’s mother is perplexed at the odd request and says, “But, I need to run some errands.”

The old lady sing-songs, “But you’re not sharing. Now give me the keys.” With that, she cranks the car and takes off, leaving Olivia’s mom standing on the sidewalk.

I’m not sure what happened next; I was too busy laughing. That feisty little porker had a point. I started to think about how I appear to my son when I’m enforcing the rules, and what I’m actually teaching him in the process. There’s no doubt that sharing is a positive thing, for children and adults. But there are times when I just don’t want to share and loaning out my personal belongings shouldn’t be expected.

I make a point to teach my child to be generous, especially to friends who are guests in our home. But does he understand that it’s okay for him, and others, to have personal boundaries? That sometimes, it’s okay to say no? To be told no? Am I so consumed with making him share his stuff that I’m sending the message his feelings are not important?

Sometimes I forget my own feelings matter. How many times a day do I say, “Sure, whatever you need,” when I really mean, “Now is not the best time”? How often do I give up my energy and resources, leaving little leftover for myself? Do I balance my needs with the needs of others, or do I succumb to a broad list of do’s and don’ts without weighing them against my own value system? The answer depends on the day.

My son is only three, and it’s a lot to take away from a cartoon about a pig. But I hope he’ll grow to understand that while it’s nice to share, it’s also healthy to set limits. It’s something I’m still learning. Olivia’s brother just wanted to do what his big sister was doing, and Olivia just wanted some space. And really, is that so wrong?