Like you, we are Hybrid Moms embracing multiple identities and numerous responsibilities in and out of the home. Spread thin, stretched to your breaking point, is it possible to find that balance that allows you to take care of you, too? The answer is yes! However, it is not going to simply happen. You must learn to play the lead role in your life. Follow these ten steps to skillfully manage your overloaded schedule and reduce the stress a 21st century working mom endures:

•    Set realistic goals at home and at work. Prioritize your goals into immediate, by the end of the day, by the end of tomorrow, by the end of the week, and during your free time. Break each of these goals into small, manageable pieces and give yourself credit for each step you have accomplished rather than wasting your time beating yourself up. Recognizing that you’re moving in the right direction will help motivate you.

•    We are humans and we all have weaknesses. Accept that you can only be in one place at a time, you can only do so much with your time, and you are guaranteed to fall short in some small way at one time or another.  Don’t try to be perfect. Perfectionism is an unhealthy goal that cannot be defined or achieved, let alone obtained. Trying to be perfect will only stand in the way of getting things done.

•    Be your own cheerleader. When things get difficult, imagine how you would encourage a friend and do the same for yourself.

•    Don’t demand acknowledgement. Avoid anger and frustration by not taking it personally when your hard work isn’t immediately recognized or appreciated. Just because others don’t verbalize the praise you deserve does not mean they don’t value what you do. Look for the ways the people in your life show validation of your efforts. If you’re not being recognized, speak up and let others know what you have done.

•    Don’t be afraid to ask for help. Seeking advice from others demonstrates why you’re a good manager. It shows that you want to be part of a team and not act as a solitary player.

•    Celebrate each victory, even the small ones. This will give you a sense of accomplishment and the energy to keep going.

•    Don’t become lop-sided. Make time to spend with friends and do the activities you enjoy. You cannot spend all your free time standing on the sideline cheering everyone else on. You need to play, too. Make “each one of us matters equally” your motto.

•    Sometimes you can make yourself your #1 priority. Give yourself permission to have “me” time. Balance is just that—designating time for work, family, and fun.

•    Take a break. Pay attention to when you feel yourself running out of steam and find a way to refuel. Book that vacation you have been putting off, even if it is just for one night.

•    Don’t let doubt get in your way. Recognize that you are competent and desirable. Never lose sight of that. Stress may make you feel like you can’t do something or you are unattractive physically, socially, or emotionally but feelings aren’t facts. Remind yourself of your accomplishments and your successful relationships to make your confidence soar. You are your greatest resource!

BIO: Leslie Sokol, Ph.D., director of education and one of the principal instructors with the Beck Institute of Cognitive Therapy and Research, is a highly acclaimed national and international lecturer. Marci G. Fox, Ph.D., is a senior faculty member in the Beck Institute’s training program. They are both licensed psychologists and experts in cognitive therapy and have worked closely for many years. Dr Sokol’s private practice is in the suburbs of Philadelphia, and Dr. Fox’s practice is located in Boca Raton, Florida. For more information, visit their web site at thinkconfidentbeconfident.com.

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