Down and Dirty Without the Sugar Coating, “Stand By Her,” A Powerful Book For the Men of the Women Who Have Breast Cancer
October was breast cancer month and I know that I’m late, but I had to tell you about a new book by John Anderson called “Stand By Her.” Here’s a guy who’s had almost every woman in his life in a breast cancer fight. He decided to do something amazing with that experience, tell the men of the world who have a woman in their life (any woman – a sister, a mother, a wife, a daughter) how to cope and be the best kind of support for their loved one. The first few pages will knock your socks off.
When I was first told about this book (Mr. Anderson and I have the same publisher, AMACOM Books) I was hesitant to take it on. No woman likes to think about breast cancer. By now, all women know the grim statistics although it always sobering to hear that 1 in 8 women will diagnosed with breast cancer. For many of us, we would rather not think about it. Myself included.
I had a lump in my breast, found on my first gynecological appointment at the tender age of 22, five months before my wedding. The doctor who found the lump, very coldly informed me that the lump was hard, it most-likely was not going away, but that my “chances” were good. She handed me a tissue before she asked me to spread my legs and scoot down to the end of the table. Thanks goodness, her choice of surgeon was much better than her bedside manner. My surgeon, Dr. Marcia Borass, with Fox Chase Cancer Center and Jeanes Hospital on first examination, informed me she was going in to take the lump out – no preliminary testing, no aspiration, she was going to take it out – and take it out she did. Luckily, the lump was not cancerous, but I will never be 100% confident about the health of my boobs.
Reading a book on breast cancer almost felt like tempting fate, but I was so intrigued by the idea of a breast cancer book, by a man, for men, that I took the plunge. I’m glad I did. Anderson speaks honestly, sensitively, and informatively to his audience. Any reader picking up this book will learn the in’s and out’s of the breast cancer process: from the history of breast cancer, to diagnosis, surgery, treatment, and survival after treatment. You see, as Anderson informs us, breast cancer does not have to be a death sentence. By the same token, how a man handles the illness, his own feelings, and the care of his loved one can have lasting effects on his relationships.
If you think that this book is a treatise to men on how to be the perfect spouse, think again, Anderson reveals his own story warts and all. The help is in the honesty, research and experience. The brilliance of the book is the author’s ability to lay it out for men in a way only men can understand – down and dirty without the sugar coating. I also loved that in each section of the book, Anderson spells out how a brother, father, and husband can help, instead of simply detailing a husband’s role. This book is a very compelling read and I believe, a precious gift and powerful weapon in the fight against breast cancer. Well done, Mr Anderson!
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Tags: Breast Cancer, John ANderson, moms, Stand By Her
