Wanted: Women Seeking Fulfilling Work
by Angie Mizzell
A while back, I was swapping emails with a mom I met in the bloggy/Twitter world. She wrote, “I am struggling professionally to find fulfillment after having kids. So often I find myself wondering if there’s more to life than this.” Her words stayed with me, because I can relate to that feeling. I’ve spent years seeking work that satisfies me on a deeper level. I want to feel a sense of purpose in my work.
I’m hardly an expert. I don’t have “7 Steps” to help you land your dream job. In fact, I’m probably a lot better at falling down the stairs. I’m just a woman, a mom, an aspiring author. But I know I’m in good company. Recently, I’ve had separate conversations with three mom friends: one is a business owner who works from home, one has a masters degree and the other a doctorate. And they all expressed similar sentiments about their work– Is this what I’m supposed to be doing, now, in this phase of my life?
Most of us will arrive at the crossroads eventually. But there’s not always a clear answer, instructing us which way to turn. In my experience, the direction I need to take is usually the one that scares me the most.
My dream is to write a book, and each day I get up before dawn plugging away at a story. I have no guarantee the book will ever sell, but I believe in it. What drives me is the abiding sense that I have to do this. It’s a goal that has followed me around since middle school, one that has stayed with me through career changes and various business ventures.
For years, I put my dream on the back burner to pay the bills. In exchange for safety and security. And why wouldn’t I? My husband and I have a mortgage and mouths to feed. And if you ask me, that’s a pretty solid purpose. If I could take a wild guess, I think most women believe we have to choose between financial stability and work that we love. And, sometimes we do. But what if we were bold enough to declare that we want both? What would happen if we just said it out loud?
Recently, another friend sent me an email, announcing the launch of her new home organizing business. (If you’ve lost count, this is the fifth person who inspired me to write this post). She is a single mom. She still has a “day job.” I emailed her back to congratulate her. She told me she was already thinking of another service she wanted to add to her business. She says, “I want to ‘unpack’ people after they move. So many people hate unpacking and they walk around boxes for weeks. Every time I move, people say to me, ‘it looks like you’ve lived here forever!’”
My friend has discovered what makes her tick, so she’s putting in the extra hours to pursue a dream.
The only advice I can offer (and then I’ll remind myself to practice what I preach) is this: Whatever your current situation is, own it. If you’re up to your eyeballs in debt, if your family relies on your consistent paycheck and benefits, own it. If you can’t remember the last time you had a complete thought because little ones are clinging to your legs, own it. Be proud of who you are, what you contribute and how hard you work.
And if a dream is planted in your heart, have the courage to own that, too. Believe that it keeps nudging you, knocking at your door for a reason. I can’t tell you how to get there. My own journey surprises me and tosses new challenges my way every day. I get discouraged– a lot. But I seek out those who inspire me, those who are working to make their dreams come true, and I learn from them.
If you’re a woman seeking more fulfilling work… start first, by simply believing that it exists.
Recent Posts By Angie Mizzell
- Do You Take Risks? - August 30th, 2010
- The Big Questions - August 23rd, 2010
- My Two Cents on Eat Pray Love - August 16th, 2010
- Breastfeeding: A world-wide law? - August 9th, 2010
- Crisis Leads to Opportunity - August 2nd, 2010
Thank you for sharing this inspiring story. It is so true that most women come to this point in t this point in their lives. I’m thankful mine came sooner rather than later!
Where’s the “like” button?
You are amazing. Absolutely amazing. Thank you for writing this today Angie.
Best,
Hannah Katy
Loved this, Angie. Especially now, with an “empty nest” I need to really take ownership of these dreams I’ve been harboring.
Thanks for the much needed inspiration
You are an AMAZING writer, and I can’t wait to read your book ~ so, keep at it!
I think about this ALL the time. I do think it’s possible to have fulfilling
work that pays the bills, too, but I think it doesn’t always take the form we
imagine. For instance, you’re doing your fulfilling work upfront, regardless of
whether your book sells. I have no doubt it’s a worthwhile venture that will most
certainly pay off in some way. But lots of people want the big paycheck at the
same time and I don’t think it always works that way. I supplement my
“fulfilling work” with projects that aren’t so fulfilling but are more lucrative.
And that’s a different sort of fulfillment. Very thought-provoking post!
Ladies, thanks for the comments! Abby, I couldn’t have said that better myself. That’s a wonderful perspective. I have found– work I enjoy less ends up being more lucrative, but it buys me freedom to do other things, like stay home with my kids and write a book. Perspective is key. It’s about not feeling “stuck”
Very inspiring and so true! I recently took the plunge and started my own
jewelry business. I think I kept waiting around for someone to give me
permission and I finally realized that I am an adult and the only person
I need permission from is myself.
As always, I’m inspired!
Once again, YOU have inspired me! I’m at a big, fat fork in the road when it comes to my work. I’m weighing big risks against the possibility of huge opportunities. I’ve always wanted to have an opportunity like this, but now that it’s here I find myself hesitating! I just need to take that risk and go for it.
Unfortunately I think that as moms the reason we feel unfulfilled at work is because we don’t really want to be there. We want to be mom on a full-time basis and we can’t. Your words make sense though, as long s we must work we might as well take pride in our work and “own it”.
Fabulous! I think finding (or searching for) balance is so critical to ambitious moms. This really spoke to me, because my dream is definitely nudging me, but the time I have to devote to it right now is fairly minimal because of the time I spend with my kids (which I love) and other work (which is also fulfilling in a different way). But, rather than bemoan my lack of time, I’m going to own my situation and enjoy every part of it to the best of my ability.
Good thought about ownership – admitting the dream is real – the next phase is to be conscious enough to act upon your dream. I have to remind myself to not get discouraged as I feel I’m moving at a tortoise’s pace. For me, it’s learning to be patient and not expect everything to happen all at once. The challenge of striking a balance between what I have to do, ie. pay my bills and care for my family, will always be there. All I can do however is take one little step at a time towards what my inner self keeps prodding me to do. Somehow, I believe, that in the midst of all that tugs on my time and attention, one day I’ll see that much has been accomplished and the dream I’ve been pursuing will actually become a reality. And that evasive sense of fulfillment that I can sometimes feel won’t be as elusive to me anymore.
So true, Amanda. We don’t always get instant gratification… baby steps will get us there, too.