| The Reverse Psychology Plan | | Print | |
| Written by Kelli Simpson | |
 Like most moms, I try to be prepared for whatever my child throws at me. Most days, I do pretty well. Some things, however, you just can't adequately prepare for. A day or so ago, my (just turned!) four year old daughter pranced out of the playroom attired from head to toe in dress-up silks and lace. She struck a pose and did a little pirouette. Then, with a flutter of her ridiculously long eyelashes, she simpered and announced, "I'm attractive to men." Excuse me? What did you say? You. Are. WHAT? Attractive to men! I had not misheard my little angel. My preschooler wants to be (thinks she is) attractive to men! Oh my God, what should I say (thoughts racing)? What should I do (cursing Britney Spears and all of her ilk)? "Oh, no you're not," doesn't sound very healthy for the self-esteem. Locking her in her room for the next twenty or so years isn't really a viable option. Is it even possible that it is already time to activate my Reverse Psychology Plan? The Reverse Psychology Plan is simplicity itself. Knowing that kids tend to want to do the exact opposite of their boring, stupid, hopelessly out of touch parents, the cunning Mom subtly extols the "virtues" of those things that she wishes to prevent. Example: "Oh, I love the look of unwashed hair! I'll bet he's a true anti-establishment guy, no job or anything! He's not wasting his time in college, is he? He's in a band? Wonderful!" Example: "Just one tattoo makes you look like a dilettante, darling. You need at least three to look authentic. And, maybe a piercing or two." Example: "Good grades aren't really that important. After all, a woman's purpose is to be attractive to men!" Genius, huh? Unfortunately, my brilliant plan is geared more toward teen angst than preschool precocity. So, I fell back on an old, tried and true Mom stand-by: "Really, honey? That's nice!" I am a freelance writer living in Norman, Oklahoma. A former nanny, child welfare worker, and special education teacher, I now stay at home with my four year old daughter, Ashli. I have written for Mothers of Preschoolers and Hot Moms Club. I blog as Mama Zen at The Zen of Motherhood (www.thezenofmotherhood.blogspot.com).
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