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Moms Can Be Good Students, Too! | Print |  Email
Written by Leah Outten   
Sometimes, things don't happen as we plan. Sure, you had lofty goals when you were 18 and had the whole world in front of you. Finish a 4 year college, get a masters degree, pursue a great career, and then think about family. Until something interrupted those plans. Or, maybe you felt work or family were calling you first. Whatever the circumstance, it can lead to regret and possibly being faced with needing (and wanting!) that degree later on.

I started out college with goals and a time line for how life should unfold: college, marriage, and then start a family. Things didn't happen that way, in fact, things have gone way out of order. They're down right backwards! After my freshman year of college, I found out I was pregnant. My then boyfriend and I quickly made changes in our lives involving finding jobs, a big move, and transferring colleges to be closer to family. He transferred schools easily, but I didn't follow. I didn't think the best idea was putting in a semester of school and then taking time off to recover and adjust to being a mom. Work was priority, because after all, babies require lots of baby things!

So I worked up until my daughter was born, took time off to adjust to the whole sleep deprived life style and simply enjoyed being a mom. My husband and I got married in May after our daughter was born, and then I went back to work part time. School just wasn't in my thoughts anymore. I really didn't want to pursue a career anymore, I loved being a mom! It would be heaven to just spend my days taking caring care of our daughter and growing new babies.

One day it hit me though, “You need a back up plan!” What if something happened to my husband, how would I support us? What about once our kids are in school and there are no more babies to tend to during the day, what will I do with my time? What about my own goals for life, isn't it worth exploring those dreams beyond a family? And something really important to me: what will my daughter think if I just gave up simply because obstacles came along. I want her to be proud of me and all that I can accomplish.

And so, back to school I went. But don't think I just packed up my book bag and abandoned my duties as a Mom. Not at all. I've made it a high priority to make time with my daughter first so I can be there to tuck her in at night, share giggles and sweet kisses. Thankfully, it's worked out that I only go twice a week with a full day of classes, and I don't have to work on top of school. Two days a week isn't much of a time sacrifice! I finished my first semester back this past December and not only did I get through the classes...I made straight A's!

So what can you do to help reach your educational goals and stay on top of things? I've learned many important lessons to help achieve success and make things a tad bit easier when life is pulling you in so many directions.

  • As with anything in life, it takes organization. Not just the neat notebooks and pencil case, but time organization. I've found that since there is often limited time to get tasks done (i.e. during naps only!), use it. Use every minute you have effectively, don't procrastinate.
  • Prioritize what's needs to be done. There are many days I have to just ignore the 4 laundry baskets begging to be folded and put away because a paper or test is looming over my head. Remind yourself what's important right now and that it's ok to let some things slide!
  • Know your learning style. Since study and school work time is so crunched, I've learned the most effective way to study. Me? I'm more of a visual person. When I read from a text book, I have to take notes, and flash cards have become my best friend. I've also discovered I learn better using the computer. Those CD's that come with text books or on line study guides and games? Awesome to me. So what if you're more Auditory? I've heard of some people bringing a tape recorder to class so they can re-listen to the lecture at home. Try reading your notes out loud! If you're more “hands on” then do just that. Obviously, this would vary from class to class, but try to apply the concept to an example or get an internship to help you get a real experience.
  • Use any help you can get! I've been lucky to have my husband and his family to help take care of Savannah when needed. Some times a 2 hour nap isn't enough to get a paper done or study for an exam, so they'll help by giving me some extra time when they can. Support is crucial, if some one offers to help, take it!
  • Treasure time with your family. Yes, those projects, papers, and tests seem to weigh heavily once your knee deep in classes, but don't forget your family. They still are the true number 1!

A balance can be found between the roles of college student and mom (and whatever else defines you as a Hybrid Mom). And you can succeed at it! I can't promise it's easy, it definitely has its struggles and stresses, but I have found that school has only enhanced my relationship with my daughter and husband. Those hours away each week gives us time to refuel and miss each other, making our time together even more treasured and enjoyable. And you know what? It just feels good to push myself and work toward something worth while. It feels good to know I'll have a back up plan, that I have something else to be proud of, and that I'm setting a good example for my daughter as she grows up.

Believe in yourself Hybrid Moms, you can do it!
Comments (2)add comment

Coleen said:

Hi Leah,

Finally someone is in my shoes....I have been trying to pull myself away from my job for the longest while but if it's not one excuse it's another.First I got a good job, then I got married, then I had my first son and then my second (now 18mths). But I believe now is the time to get back in there....SO I'M GONNA DO IT.

April 01, 2008

Megan said:

Ah, yes...been there, DOING that. My plan has always been to finish my degree once my kiddos were in school full-time. I started back a year earlier than I planned & I will be graduating this fall! When I was getting ready to go back to school, I felt overwhelmed by the thought of it taking me 2 whole years to finish, so my best advice is just jump in...you'll be surprised how quickly it will fly by! I've been blogging about my journey and its ups & downs at www.universitymama.blogspot.com.
August 15, 2008 | url

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