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I am frightened. A crisis is looming. I can already feel it. And I wonder: Am I giving up? What will I do without my identity as a media princess, an aspiring queen of a media empire? I need my crown, my social network, my expense account. Will I even know who I am without a business card that clearly shouts, "Voila! C'est moi!"? This is a significant turning point in my life.
The changes I face are very difficult for me to accept. My mother always told me that there is no comfort in change, but little personal growth without it. Well, it's personal growth that I choose – in a big way. I'm pregnant.
That was 7 years ago.
Now I have two beautiful children, and I get to experience life through the eyes of a 4 year old and a 7 year old. Molly shows me the beauty in shells and pretend-princesses and silly dances. Jason teaches me a new life at lightning speed; by now, I pitch a baseball better than any mom in town. What these two teach me goes far beyond the syllabus of all those leading-and-managing-people courses I took almost a decade ago.
I'm lucky.
Opting out of the workforce has given me so many new rewards, so many new ways to measure my performance, even a new crown to wear. In fact, I may never have discovered my new passion had I not lived through the ups and downs of stay-at-home motherhood.
That passion is the promise of the Women's Movement, a world where women can be successful at home and at the office, simultaneously. While the world has changed dramatically for women since 1963 when Betty Friedan wrote "The Feminine Mystique," far too many of the old roadblocks remain, stubbornly stuck in place. Yes, women today can go speeding towards any and all educational and career aspirations. There are far fewer speed bumps in getting equal pay for equal work when compared with our male counterparts.
Increasingly we find fewer hurdles when competing with men for top executive positions; in fact, we are on the up-ramp in securing these posts. We are even told that we've earned the right to opt in or opt out of the workforce. Ah, but that's where we often get stopped dead in our tracks. Exercising that right comes with a big price to pay, and offers many roadblocks that are bigger than anyone could have anticipated. I know this.
I know because I have decided it's time to reenter the workforce.
I figure as long as I'm getting back on the career track, I'll do something big. What? Is that skepticism I see in the eyes of prospective employers? Even at places that proclaim to offer women that elusive work/life balance? My old crown may be dulled, but my mind isn't. My old business cards are long gone, but the skills aren't. In fact, they have increased. I can now juggle better than most, and far better than I ever thought possible in myself. Just because I took time off from a paycheck didn't mean I took a vacation from reading, brainstorming, thinking, dreaming.
I hear voices.
Is it my mother again? "Don't doubt yourself. You had tremendous skills and business success before you had kids; your children have dulled neither your brain nor your instincts. Go, be part of a movement to change the working world so that smart women can opt back in with ease, with grace." No, that isn't the voice of my mother. It's the voice of this mother.
This once-proven media princess, once on the way to being crowned queen. Myself. I believe in me. I simply need to find better ways to convince others of those facts. New realities in our lives warrant a new movement, and a voice to go with it. I want to be part of a new "wave"—one that turns our shared thoughts and discussions into ACTION. The conversations are universal, among working and stay-at-home moms. They are taking place everywhere: in the pre-school parking lot after we drop off our children; at Starbucks; on the soccer field; and yes, at the water cooler and in the boardroom. No matter which side of the fence you're on, the challenges are equally great. So what is all the talk about?
Since 1963 and Friedan's vision for women, we've turned heads. Yes, we've come a long way, baby! We have learned to be exceptionally good in the workplace; we have learned to be exceptional mothers. We have enjoyed both worlds. Some of us have learned amazing skills at balancing the two together, and almost guilt-free. We have earned not only the right but also much respect for taking the off-ramp to raise a family. Sadly, we have not yet found a clear roadmap for that steep on-ramp after getting those children to school age.
When I'm dreaming really big, I dream about a world where women no longer take two steps forward, only to go three steps back. A life where women can stay connected to the business community while working fulltime at motherhood. It too is work. Must we always prove ourselves over and over and over to rejoin corporate America at the same place we left it? In my dream world, there's scarcely a bump in the road back to the position and people and places I've known and loved. And yes, done well at. We need new leadership – in corporate America, in our culture, in the women's movement. We owe it to ourselves. We owe it to our daughters. We even owe it to our sons. Because when I go back to work, I plan to go big or go home.
The real girl behind "Real Girl For Hire" has been hired! Meryl Otis Kessler is now the Publisher of Hybridmom Magazine and Hybridmom.com.
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