Happy Thanksgiving!
Ah, the holiday season begins. It’s amazing how fast it comes around again.
I personally love Thanksgiving! I love the foods, I love getting together with friends and family and I like that there are no gifts. It’s just a time to get together to drink, eat and enjoy each other’s company…or not. I know for so many people the pressure is on to make a beautiful (moist) bird and for all the sides to come out perfectly, for the family to all get along and your kids to be polite and respectful. It can be a trying time to keep your cool.
This year, like most years, we are going to NY to my mother-n-laws in the city. It’s amazing how she can seat 25 people in her two bedroom apartment. We usually fly on the Wednesday before with the majority of the country…it is insane. We hunker down for the aggravation and madness.
We check into our hotel and walk the 5 blocks to her apartment – I love NY for that. Living in southern California you practically walk to your mailbox…in NY the entire family gets out and walks. I remember when my oldest son was around13 he would beg us to get a cab every block. Thank goodness he out grew that.
My mother-in-law does an amazing job, but as the years have gone on she has become progressively cranky. She won’t let anyone help do anything. She wouldn’t go out with the group because she had too much to do. This year she has finally let go and gotten a caterer to help. We all just want to spend time together; we don’t care who makes the food.
I know when I have hosted family holiday events I want everything to be perfect too. One year in particular, I told everyone to bring a homemade dessert. I had planned for a big Martha Stewart type dessert table. My brother walks in with a grocery store bought Yule Log with mini Krackle bars in the wrappers on top. I said thank you and proceeded to hide it. When dessert time came and all the beautiful desserts were laid out, my brother asked where the dessert he brought was….I sheepishly retrieved it from the kitchen…seriously had I lost my mind? Who cares about perfection…and more importantly looking back on it – control.
This really is a time to let all this crap go, not amp it up! If someone offers to bring something say “sure.” The more help the better actually. We don’t need to be territorial. If your mother-in-law wants to take over the kitchen, let her – go enjoy the conversation. Try not to let people get to you and enjoy the tradition of family. Take what works and fills you up and for one day ignore the rest.
Have a great Thanksgiving!
Recent Posts By Mary Beth Evans
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Tags: thanksgiving
“This really is a time to let all this crap go, not amp it up! If someone offers to bring something say “sure.””
I live by this rule every day! Thanks Mary Beth and I hope you and the family have a great Thanksgiving!
Jen
I come from a very large family, and we often refer to our holidays as the “Griswald family gatherings.” An assortment of lots of different characters, all with their unique contribution to the ambiance of the holiday. When I was younger I always dreaded these large gatherings, but I find I am appreciating them more as I grow older. I think I have learned to let go of all the crap as well!
Have a Happy Thanksgiving, Mary Beth!
Giddy
Have a wonderful Thanksgiving! Your perspectives always brighten my day, and with Thanksgiving just a few hours away, your suggestions couldn’t come at a better time. I think I do just that, and ‘take what works’! Thanks!
I love every one of your blogs and the message that comes with it. Thank you for taking the time to blog for us. You are truly an inspiration. Have a wonderful Thanksgiving with your family and enjoy the Big Apple!
Happy Thanksgiving Mary Beth!
Thanks for the blog! I love it! I will spend
some of the day with my kids. We have
a huge family and the Holidays are always
so much fun but today i do have to go to
work. Crazy i know. I will enjoy what i do have and make the best of it.
Have a great time in NY with your family.
Michelle
I love your stories, Mary Beth! So very relateable. Ideally, every holiday, be it Thanksgiving, Christmas, or whatever, should be perfect…everything going swimmingly. But we all know this time of year comes with its own stresses as well as its rewards. Thanks for sharing your thoughts on what the day can be as well as what it should be.
Happy Thanksgiving to you and yours, and thank YOU very much for sharing your thoughts and experiences with us. I know I appreciate your blog very much and look foward to reading it every Thursday.
I sometimes joke about my dysfunctional family. One sister who worries and wants to control everything – gets upset when it doesn’t go as planned; another sister who is sometimes out in left field; nephews who often don’t think about the consequences of their actions….. you get the idea. And even after all the problems (one nephew who isnsited he was going to come this year because of construction on his house calls 15 minutes before dinner and says we decided to come LOL), whne we sat down and ate and enjoyed each others company and shared family stories, everything was OK. It is too bad we can’t just get ourselves to the family time together without all the angst leading up to it!
Mary Beth,
I really enjoy your blogs. You always get right to the heart of the issue. I hope you had a great family Thanksgiving!
I love your blogs because you are so ‘real.’ Letting go of holiday expectation really helps make a better holiday!! I loved Thanksgiving so much that my whole wedding was themed around it, with the colors and flowers(thankfully the yellow roses worked lol). My grandmother prepared for Thanksgiving for two weeks ahead of time and cooked for two days and it was that way for years. In a matter of two years I went from being a college girl with Grandma cooking Thanksgivng, to being married with a baby, and my Grandma was ill as well as my mother and it was all on me and has remained so to this day. Honestly, I was very resentful it landed on me soo soon. (it was never what I expected to happen). My make-shift Thanksgivings in those early years were kind of pathetic from tradtional point of view. lol! I have gotten better at it now and appeciated your dessert help for us this year! As I watched my daughter, who was adopted from a country who is experiencing great famine right now, this year as I saw her take a bite of each food and smiling, I knew I had nothing to feel resentful about! I really love your holiday message of ‘letting go’ because in the end we recieve so much more!
I laughed so hard when you mentioned your brother’s extravagant dessert! I met him in the lobby of a theater at UCI when you and Stephen did a redux of “Love Letter’s(97′) and he didn’t look like he had “Yule Log” written all over him hahaha but it was funny you mentioned him because I can visually see him bringing that in to you. LOL
Good for you for dropping the dessert snob and allowing the getting together part affect you more. My aunt has always had the Thanksgivings until she lost my cousin to a terrible car accident this year. My other cousins have taken over Thanksgiving and although it was hard to let that-control factor down; she sat back this year and played with my 7 month old twin nephews(you would eat them alive missy!) and let those twin babies take a little pain away.
For us all it was a tad bittersweet as we’ve lost 10 people in 5 years; yet at the same time the youth and joy of the twins reminded us all that Thanksgiving is a reminder that we still have love, life, and cousin Leslie’s awesome Butter Cake!mmmm…You don’t get that one till I get the apple pie one!LOL…I know, I know, in my dreams…
Again MBE…”Thanks for Giving YOU”
I had to laugh about the store bought yule log. It hit “quite” close to home. While in my 20s, I remember fighting with my younger teenage brothers who wanted to add metallic garland to our Christmas tree. I thought it looked so tacky! My mother had to remind me that it was also their Christmas tree. We still laugh about the garland.