So Many Questions, So Little Time
by Angie Mizzell
My husband is very supportive, but I could tell he was annoyed. Another weekend had seemed to disappear before it ever got started. I can’t remember the last time we spent an afternoon playing tourist in our charming historic city, browsing shops and stopping in a local restaurant for a late lunch and a glass of wine.
Today we have two children, a preschooler and a baby. I’m a stay-at-home/work-at-home mom, who like so many, is struggling and juggling, trying to balance my desire to work with my desire to stay home with my children. When I see a window opportunity to get some uninterrupted work done, I pounce on it. Unfortunately, those opportunities often fall on the weekends, when my husband is home.
My husband happily does his part; he’ll watch the boys so I can disappear anytime I ask. But I wonder if that’s really fair? If we’re passing them back and forth, what will that do to our marriage? My husband sees this as a short term issue. One day our sons will be in school and I’ll have more time to work from home.
On this particular weekend, I wanted to talk about it… to solve it right there in the middle of the den. But I decided to leave the conversation alone. He wasn’t angry, and neither was I. He wants me to have what I want; I don’t want my family to suffer in the process.
And I don’t want to rush this time. In the midst of my questions, I see how beautiful my life really is. When I obsess over doing in perfectly, I waste precious moments.
So I went into our bedroom and worked for a bit, and then I looked outside. The sun what shining. I wondered where everyone was. I found my husband and the boys in a open field across the street from my house. I decided to join them.
There’s an art to living in the moment… it requires trusting my intuition. And at that moment, even though I had plenty of quiet time to work, I decided to close my laptop, and go fly a kite!
Recent Posts By Angie Mizzell
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- My Two Cents on Eat Pray Love - August 16th, 2010
- Breastfeeding: A world-wide law? - August 9th, 2010
- Crisis Leads to Opportunity - August 2nd, 2010
Tags: husband, motherhood, stay at home mom, working from home
I love this post. I can really identify with it. My husband and I struggle with the time issue as well. Too often I find myself giving up time with him to have time to work on my business. It is all for a better tomorrow, but it is difficult.
So glad you decided to go fly a kite! It is important to learn to listen to that intuitive voice. You inspired me today. Thank you!
I totally understand where you are coming from! It’s so hard to have ‘family’ time and even just couple time in our busy world… thanks for the reminder
Great post!!! although my children are 20 and 22 now and I am done with the fundamentals of raising them, I certainly can relate to your post today….thanks for sharing
Angie!
I love this post…and that you put it all aside for a few hours to enjoy your boys. That’s what it’s all about!
I can relate! Another weekend slipped by and I was on the mac way too much.sigh.
Such a great post. I love it! I think that everyone needs to ‘go fly a kite’ every now & again. It’s easy to get caught up in work & forget to LIVE.
My husband works out of town and when he is in town, I feel guilty because I want to be with him but I also relish the quiet time to work and want some girlfriend time away from the house of boys and chaos!
One fix is having finally admitted I need a little help and putting my littlest in a dayhome just one day a week. Quiet work time found (older two are in school that day). I also on weekends will set a timetable that means I must stop working by no later than noon so we can have family time in the afternoon.
The balance will come to us all – someday (I hope!)
I’m happy to report that this dilemma will disappear in about a year. These are, by far, the hardest times. When people would say, “cherish the time because it goes by so fast.”, I would say, “Beginning when?.” And then, it does. When Jet went to pre-school at age 2, he is now 7, that is when I started to have more time. Remember when I told you to just ender the first year with a new born because it can test even the strongest marriage? Well, you are in round two. But, pretty soon, when the baby learns to walk, suddenly the older child discovers he has a play toy and an audience. And you discover 20 minutes of peace. That’s when I tell parents to hang on…time flies.
[...] post last week about the internal struggles I face as a work-at-home mom hit a nerve with many of you. I have spent countless nights asking myself, “how can I do it [...]