Having “no time” can be a good thing
by Angie Mizzell
My oldest son turns four today, and as I celebrate this milestone, I’m having bittersweet reflections about my own journey. I’ve spent these past four years striving for the proverbial state of balance, all while remaining totally stressed out.
My post last week about the internal struggles I face as a work-at-home mom hit a nerve with many of you. I have spent countless nights asking myself, “how can I do it better tomorrow?” I’m encouraged to know I’m not alone in this.
I haven’t been a perfect mom, but having children has taught me things I didn’t know (or wasn’t ready to accept) about myself. This awareness is making me the person I want to be. I only have a few hours a week to work, but I’m closer to my professional goals than I’ve ever been. I’m doing work that feels better than it has ever felt. At times it feels like I’m walking around with a bowling ball tied to my leg; ironically, I’m hitting my stride.
In the early days of being self-employed, I accepted almost every opportunity that came my way. I took meetings and phone calls at all hours of the day. I walked that fine line between living the dream and paying the bills. Being passionate and being practical.
Motivational speakers and experts on “success” often talk about knowing the difference between a good opportunity and a great opportunity. They also stress the importance of having a clear vision; knowing exactly what you want. I’ve struggled with both of these; I say yes too quickly and as a result lose sight of my purpose.
Perhaps this feeling of having “no time” is actually doing me a favor. It has forced me to confront my insecurities and challenge myself to stop making decisions for the wrong reasons… decisions ruled by guilt, fear and ego.
I’m becoming more realistic about what I can accomplish in a week; learning to say no to opportunities that don’t fit my true big picture. Understanding what I need to do now and what can easily get done later.
When I get honest with myself and ask, “What do you want?” Without blinking, I say I want to be home with my children and I want to be a writer.
Today it has occurred to me that I have exactly what I want. It’s really, really messy. But I’m getting it done. I’m living the dream and paying the bills. I’m being passionate and practical.
So happy birthday, Dillon. You’ve grown so much in 4 years, and it seems your mama has, too.
Today, as I celebrate my son’s birth, I ask all of you to stop and celebrate your success. Everything you’ve learned. Everything you’re doing right. Tell us about it.
Recent Posts By Angie Mizzell
- Do You Take Risks? - August 30th, 2010
- The Big Questions - August 23rd, 2010
- My Two Cents on Eat Pray Love - August 16th, 2010
- Breastfeeding: A world-wide law? - August 9th, 2010
- Crisis Leads to Opportunity - August 2nd, 2010
Tags: Hybrid Mom, kids, working from home
Hooray for you, and hooray for Dillon! You are making it happen and your son has a mommy who has her priorities right. I love hearing about this. It is messy sometimes. It doesn’t fit our minds ideal of what working at home should look like. Somehow we think that it will be so easy… Has anything worth doing in life ever been easy? I love how real you are with this. These are the kinds of posts I like. Real women, real business, real struggles. Thank you.
I have definitely had to learn about not saying “yes” to every project! Over time I’ve learned which clients are right for me and which clients I am right for – when both of us are getting what we needs – that’s where good things happen!
Hurray Angie!
Fabulous post. Thanks for keeping it perspective.
Continued success with both work and family. A difficult tightrope to walk for sure
Angie, I feel like I could have written this post myself. I have a 3 y.o. & an almost 1 y.o. and work from home as a freelance writer. Like you said, I used to accept every opportunity that came my way — part of the feast or famine mentality most freelancers have, I guess — but I simply can’t do that any more.
In some ways, it’s easier, having a legitimate excuse to pass on less-desirable work. But sometimes it’s frustrating, when I want or feel like I need to take on the work but I simply don’t have the time.
I never, ever used to work nights or weekends before I had 2 kids. But now I realize that even w/ p.t. school & childcare, I’m the one who has to drop everything if there’s a snow day, the sitter cancels, or someone’s sick. So I find myself having to work when I can. Sometimes it sure can be a challenge.
Thanks for writing about what so many of us are probably feeling.
Such a fun read. I aspire to write the same sort of post in 4 years. While I get closer every day, I have to remember that the only way I will make that dream a reality is to take a chance. Or leap of faith
Congratulations on making it happen for you and your family!