The household to-do list has become so burdensome that one in three Americans say there are days when they would rather stay at work than go home and deal with their housework. TheseStrategyOne/iRobot “Balance at Home” survey findings were released at this week’s BlogHer Conference.
As a freelance writer who has worked from home for more than two years, I can relate. I love working in shorts and a t-shirt with my dog snoring beside my desk, and being able to throw in a load of laundry or wipe up the kitchen counters anytime I want. But I also have days when I dream about my old offices and even cubicles at companies I used to work at — AOL,BearingPoint, JBS - and how thankful I felt there when the clock struck 5pm and I wasn’t home! I knew my nanny would be finishing up the laundry, running the dishwasher and signing off on the cable guy’s repairs. It was easier to be in the office. Work-from-home moms, what do you think?
Many people ask me about Ayurveda - how it is applicable to modern life…is it applicable at all? While it might be hard to fathom how a system of medicine 5,000 years old can apply to us today, as an Ayurvedic traditionalist, I find comfort in knowing that although we have evolved as a race, our basic health needs and wants have not changed drastically over the course of civilization. And trherein lies the healing power of Ayurveda. I refer to it as a wisdom practice because its tried and tested methods have been passed down the ages as healing wisdom.
Because Ayurveda is the Science of Life, it provides a set of tools that help you live in harmony with your natural environment. When this happens you can truly maintain a state of balance. Although mothering children is a historical tradition, our patterns of living are much more complex than those of our forefathers. Which is why when we make the transition to motherhood, many of us are often jolted out of balance. Wisdom practices such as Ayurveda can come in handy to help you re-allign yourself to maintain a more positive state of emotional and physical health.
I have been doing a lot of thinking about this topic. For those of you who are not sure about the definition of Helicopter Moms, they are obsessive interfering moms who ‘hover’ over their kids in an effort to control every aspect of their lives from ‘in utero’ to ‘college.’ As a health practitioner and hybrid mom I have never been able to condone this peculiar behavior as that it can severely hamper a child’s sense of independence and self sufficiency. But recently, I have been wondering more about what this behavior means for the mom rather than the child.
Many ask the question – why is it that some women take on this peculiar behavior of hovering that they (some of them) carry forward through life. Is there an underlying reason that stems from their background? What is the real reason that they behave that way and where will they be once their young have finally flown the nest? The questions are plentiful and the answers…well that depends on each mom’s perspective.
As a health practitioner, I often find myself in a situation where I need to point out alternative channels that helicopter moms could focus their energies on. However, rather than pointing out sometimes cliched options, I would love to throw this one out to you for your opinion as a hybrid mom. What is your take on the phenomenon of helicopter moms ? Would you suggest they alter/change their behavior? If so, how?
It’s a vast, interesting and possibly contentious topic. I would love to gather you comments!
The workplace environment obviously plays a role in determining a mom’s career. But is the business world less female-friendly than law firms and medical practices?
The University of California Berkeley Haas School of Business studied nearly 1,000 Harvard undergraduates and found some interesting things 15 years after graduation…
- Business school graduates were more likely than doctors or lawyers to be stay-at-home moms
- 28 percent of the women who went on to get MBAs were stay-at-home moms
- 79 percent of attorney moms surveyed continued working after having children
- Only 6 percent of MDs had stopped working outside of the home
The study, “Opt-Out Patterns Across Careers: Labor Force Participation Rates Among Highly Educated Mothers,” used Harvard College reunion surveys for the 1988 to 1991 graduating class for their initial data. Moms surveyed were about 37 years old and had at least one child.
When I stop to think about it, I know 8 mom physicians in my area alone who work part-time. I was always surprised to learn this. Doctor moms out there - do you work in a private practice part-time - and how hard was it to arrange this? Businesswomen - was it (or is it) too hard to juggle motherhood with the long hours and travel that is ingrained in corporate America?
I have a problem. I can’t seem to get rid of my toaster. I know I should throw it away. Lately, my toaster has not been performing properly. The 4 slotted toaster will only toast on two of her slots. Every morning when toast is placed on the two slots that actually will work, it’s a crap shoot as to whether toasting will actually occur. Sometimes the waffles pop out still frozen and the little knob on the front of the toaster has to be adjusted. Sometimes the toast gets burnt on one single circular spot and the remainder of the toast is fine. I know that what I have described is substandard toaster performance. I know that I should toss the toaster and get a new toaster that toasts the way a toaster should toast. I can’t seem to toss the toaster and what’s more I don’t know why I can’t toss the toaster.
The toaster is a mirrored, 4 sliced beauty, with white on the front and back. In it’s hey-day, it toasted beautifully. That was seventeen years ago. The toaster has seen us through 6 moves including a move across the country. The toaster has put it’s time in with my family and should be able to rest in peace but I can’t seem to toss it.
Why can’t I get rid of my toaster? Is it because the toaster was a wedding shower gift? Well, actually it wasn’t exactly a gift. My husband and I returned an expensive Christian Dior penoir set from a distant relative (a rich relative, obviously). At the time I felt the penoir set was too “old” for me. I’m sure I would love it today - but I digress. The penoir set was worth $210 dollars, a fortune to us. With the money received from the discarded gift we bought an electric skillet, a trash basket, a scale, and the 4 slotted toaster. Are wedding memories the reason I can’t sell the toaster? I don’t think so.
Is the reason I can’t toss the toaster because I am lazy? I would rather fiddle with the toaster’s knobs and re toast the waffles that stay frozen rather than buy a whole new toaster? That doesn’t sound right. Perhaps I love the challenge of every morning trying to feed my family with a substandard piece of equipment. That can’t be it. Is it that I am fond of the way the toaster looks on my counter and I can’t find a suitable replacement? I think not.
When I look closely for the reason I can’t toss my toaster I don’t have to travel that far. I think that I see myself in the toaster. Ok, not literally, although the toaster does have mirrored sides. The truth is, I turned forty this year. My knobs don’t work so well anymore either, if you know what I mean. You can shine me up for sure but the the insides are definitely not working the way they used to. Does my substandard performance mean that my husband, my family, my work should trade me in for a newer model? I certainly hope not. Although I don’t work with complete accuracy anymore - my face takes longer to paint, my clothing size has gone up a bit, and my eyes can’t read teeny tiny print anymore, I, like my toaster, have some good points. The years have seasoned me. I have a better sense of humor. I try not to take life too seriously. Most important after all these years is that I’ve realized that what I know is a whole lot less than what I don’t know.
So, while trading in my toaster may sound like the right thing to do at first glance, I think I’ll hang on to it a bit longer. Perhaps there is still something to be gained from a piece of equipment that has performed pretty well up until now and may continue to do, albeit with a bit of tweaking, for many years to come. What do you think?
When I was a girl, my mother would invariably have me dressed like one of the members of the Von Trapp family. Her fantasies about little girls in blue dresses with blue satin sashes proved to be overkill. It has always curbed my inclination to dress my own daughter the same way.
However, hair fashion accessories are a different cup of tea. I always look for ways to curb what a wild and unruly mane in the name of fashion and style. Thank gosh for Hip Clipz.com.
Hip Clipz cutting edge designs are inspired by fashion forward color trends of the season. Each spring and fall new selections are introduced, and past creations retired.
Hip Clipz founder and hip mom of two, Christine Fox, brainstorms and handcrafts all Hip Clipz TM. Makeup Artist turned designer, Christine exemplifies the classic Hybrid Mom. She started out by designing her creations for her 5 year old daughter, Emmy. Then what started out as a labor of love slowly immerged into Hip Clipz.
Hip Clipz designs are growing by popularity! Worn by toddlers, tweens and funky moms across America. And designed to be socially conscious, Hip Clipz donates a portion of all proceeds to charities.
In a survey of 12,000 women interviewed in May and June, 34 percent said they have less than an hour a day to themselves, according to Working America’s 6th annual “Ask a Working Woman” survey. 11 percent saying they have zero “me time.” I am shocked the percentage isn’t even higher! Aren’t you? If I informally polled my working female friends, I think almost 100 percent would say they have 30 minutes a day “free” time - or less.
If we had more time, what would we do with it? In the survey, 50 percent of the women said they’d take a second job to ease their financial strain. The number two choice? 43 percent said spending more time with family. More time for friends was third, with 24 percent wishing to catch up and chat. 22 percent said exercise and 20 percent said sleep. I was surprised the sleep number wasn’t higher, but then I remembered - the folks surveyed were working women, not all working moms.
What would I do with extra time? I’d like to think exercise, it should be sleep, but i think it would be just work more. What about you?
Can kids really take action on the environment? Can they influence their parents to reduce carbon emissions? Apparently so, says Cool the Earth, a new climate-change enrichment program, launched by a mom in Kentfield, California. The program has already saved more than 8 million pounds of carbon from going into the atmosphere and has influenced 6,000 households to take 10,000 positive actions to reduce carbon emissions. With additional funding in place and a web-based delivery system available this summer, this program—currently running in 25 Northern California schools–expects to expand to 100 schools in the fall (from Texas to New York) and is positioned to become a national model for positive environmental change.
An Engaging Environmental Awareness Program for Kids
“Our program is based on engaging children and their families in the issues of climate change in a fun and tangible way,” says Carleen Cullen, co-founder and Executive Director of Cool the Earth, a nonprofit organization. “Once children see how easy it is to take positive action, they enthusiastically get the whole family to engage in reducing their carbon footprint.”
Inspired by what she saw in Al Gore’s famous movie, the movie “An Inconvenient Truth, ” Cullen developed a parent-run ‘education through action‘ geared towards kids from K - 8 the grade. Following a lively assembly, tarring the school’s teachers in the roles of Mr. Carbon and Polar Bear, students are given action
coupon books outlining 20 no or low-cost ways their family can reduce their carbon emissions. The total actions families take at home are then tracked on a banner, providing tangible and inspiring results.
A Program That Spreads Like Wildfire
Cullen launched the pilot program in the winter of 2007, in Bacich Elementary in Kentfield, California, where her children attend school. After several months of success, the program spread like wild fire to 25 schools, and has now succeeded in eliminating more than 8 million pounds of carbon, the equivalent of taking more than 750 cars off the road.
In just one year, Cool the Earth has already won local environmental awards from the City of Sonoma’s All Stars Climate Conference, for “achieving powerful results in a short period of time,” and “A Rising Sun” award from the weekly newspaper The Pacific Sun. The grassroots program has also garnered attention in the Marin I.J., The Wall St. Journal, and national parenting monthly Kiwi Magazine.
Ok, based on the title of this post you may think I have an enormous stretch ahead of me to make this idea work. I mean, a Wimbledon Championship and motherhood? How can they possibly be related? Bear with me, then feel free to judge. If you watched this game, the entire game, as I did on Sunday afternoon for approx 7 hours (with rain delays) , you know that the Men’s Final Wimbledon Match was great entertainment, great competition, and great tennis. What you may not have realized was how Federer’s performance is an example of how many mothers I know behave during the pressures of Motherhood.
The legendary Federer and his long-time opponent Nadal went at it as if they were in a boxing ring. They traded tennis swings, blow for blow. They traded service games, ace for gorgeous ace. They volleyed, they drop shot-ed, and they overheaded each other repeatedly resulting in the longest Men’s Wimbledon Final in history.
If you didn’t watch the whole game, however, you might have missed how close Roger Federer came to losing the entire match in just three sets. After the losing the second set, it seemed as if Federer was destined to repeat a quick defeat as he had in the French Open. Well into the third set Federer found himself up against Championship point. Most of us, myself included, would have folded like a house of cards. Not Federer. He fended off that Championship point and four others during the remainder of the match before finally bowing to Nadal in the fifth set losing 9-7. (there is no tie-breaker in the final set at Wimbledon, the players simply play until one player wins by two games.)
It was Federer’s ability to stay in the match and never concede defeat that reminded me of many mothers I know. Like Federer, no matter how the odds are stacked against them, Moms never give up. When it seems like no normal human being can continue functioning because of months and months of sleep deprivation, these mothers go on. When a baby’s colic shakes the very core of their being, these mothers go on. When juggling work schedules while continuing to breastfeed, these mothers go on. While breastfeeding through an antagonizing infection, these mothers go on. While trying to make sense of a a marriage that is severely bending under the pressure of a newborn, these mothers go on. When finding out the news that their child is on the spectrum, these mothers go on. Also, like Federer, these mothers continue to play at the top of their game and manage to pull out a few aces at the very height of motherhood pressure. These moms I know manage to succeed at work, and find that extra energy to put in to their marriages, and get the help they need to insure their child’s development.
Mothers are obviously not the stars of a Wimbeldon final, but like Federer, they play each and every day like a champion! The example that Federer sets is one that I think we can all benefit from remembering in our daily lives. Never, ever give up.
I love words. I love language. And I’m a student of regional accents (my favorite parlor trick is to listen to people’s accents and guess where they are from, usually with pin-point accuracy, but that’s a topic for another day).
Therefore, I love William Safire’s column, “On Language”, in the NYTimes even though he is a rabid right-winger.
But today I’m calling Mr. Safire on the carpet (a little rug-burn Bill?)
Sunday’s column was about the infamous Obama fist bump. Now, when I saw this live, I noticed Michelle was way more into it than Barry. (That’s what Maureen Dowd calls him – do his friends really call him Barry?)
In his column, Bill Safire so kindly explains to us that the fist bump represents “in-group affiliation with all of black America.”
Not that that’s a bad thing – I just don’t think mainstream America is ready for the new “black power” salute. Which might explain Barry’s apparent reluctance.
Good job, Mr. Safire. You’ve so subtly added a new scare tactic to the Republican quiver. View Maggie Wells’s profile
Ok, based on the title of this post you may think I have an enormous stretch ahead of me to make this idea work. I mean, a Wimbledon Championship and motherhood? How can they possibly be related? Bear with me, then feel free to judge. If you watched this game, the entire game, as I did on Sunday afternoon for approx 7 hours (with rain delays) , you know that the 
View Maggie Wells’s profile
